Birthday Red Velvet Cupcakes

We're backkkkkkk [bitches!]. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to use bitches like that because this blog is rated G for content, but it felt right. Just really right.

So after a prolonged hiatus due to the stressors of grad school, particularly the audacity of one professor who assigned us a 10 page paper for finals week, I'm back with a vengenace [insert karate kick sound here].  I've been holed up in an office for the past two weeks creating lesson plans for invisible students and writing papers and as soon as I was free I went straight to the grocery store to stock up on red velvet cupcake ingredients. For those of you who had these red velvet guys back in November, this is that recipe. Not only is it a great comeback gig, but Saturday was my birthday so I went all out here.

Red velvet cupcakes are fun to make for two important reasons. 1. There's so much red dye involved that you feel like you're recreating a crime scene from Dexter. It's fun to walk around the kitchen and say things like "yeah, the perp came at it from this direction". The second reason is that when you accidentally combine baking powder with white vinegar you get an awesome explosion! Who doesn't love that.

Make Crepes at Home!

For four years I lived in North Philadelphia, dredging up and down Broad Street pretending like I was totally comfortable living in the city. We all know (or I think we can all assume) that I am not the most subtle person you've ever met, so trying to act cool and urbany was just not my style. I always came up out of the subway stairs ready to roundhouse somebody. I paid for that Vera Bradley bag myself mister, keep your hands off.

When you move from rural to urban everyone wants to sit you down and tell you about the dangers of society. This is fairly warranted, but the drama that people pump into it is far more scary than anything you'll probably see on campus. When I went to orientation at Temple they told us not to wear lanyards with our keys around our necks because people would come up from behind and choke us. The more they talked, the more I couldn't help but wonder why I had chosen a school that had so many stranglers on campus. 

Keys were better left in your pocket, or better yet - your largest key was better left in ready position in your right hand so you could stab someone quick if you had to.