I’ve been slowly writing this blog entry in my head all week. It’s one of those occasions where you know exactly what you want to say, like when you’re rehearsing an upcoming argument you’re about to have in your head. In that situation, you are going to sound like the smartest person who ever lived. Really, you’re going to say that? Because I’ll say THAT and make it seem so off the cuff that you will literally be blown back in surprise.
That never happens.
Every time I rehearse some kind of conversation I’m about to have, all the words I’ve been storing in my head just come tumbling out of my mouth all at once. Oh you said that?? How about…about..this! That’s not a good comeback. That’s not even a good response. What happened to all that training? What a waste of preparation.
Anyway, I’ve been writing this in my head all week because I’m about to take a pretty bold stance against the Girl Scouts.
If you’ve felt that you’re life has been missing caramel and thin mints lately, you’re in luck because it’s cookie season. I had my first run-in with a girl scout just a few days ago, and ever since I’ve felt like Larry David (who I generally despise) walking around town asking myself why it’s okay for children to hit the streets and try to sell you cookies, but it’s not okay for someone who’s over the age of 10.
Not that I want to troll the streets and beg for money, but hey – it’d be nice to have that option.
As a general rule, I have no issues with children collecting money for school events, sports teams or dance-athons. I think all of those things are great! When I was in high school we had to do things like that to get money; we washed a Coach bus at a car wash for god’s sake! But there are two things I don’t agree with: 1. Letting your children walk up and down the median of a 6 lane highway with coffee cans. There’s nothing safe or smart about doing that. 2. Dressing your child up like a member of Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and letting them walk up to strangers at the train station asking “Do you support children meeting their potential and being successful?”
Seriously, that’s you’re opening line?? How do I politely turn down your cookies?
“No, I’m sorry. Your potential is just not important to me”.
Now (because I don’t normally carry cash on me) I’m a monster because I won’t support this particular girl scout. My mumbling of “sorry…uhh..no cash?” (in some language that was definitely not English) wasn’t going to cut it, and she was clearly disappointed in me. As was her mother. Hey Girl Scouts – start carrying around a credit card swiper do-hickey and we can do some business! Your general distaste for my lack of paper currency has sent me down this spiral of talking to myself and leaving myself notes for this blog that make me sound like a crazy person. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I’m not a fan of the G-Scouts, but they’re causing me to double think my standards for adolescent begging. Just because you’re wearing a sash doesn’t make you any less dangerous.
Now obviously, I’m only kidding. Unlike many other real life institutions, inanimate objects and some companies that shall remain nameless, I don’t actually harbor any ill will towards the Girl Scout organization.
Yet.
Today's blog is my literary response to my run-in with the little girl at the train station. Since I've been on Pinterest, I've literally pinned and re-pinned what feels like millions of recipes. But this one particular recipe is special and relevant because it's a knock off of a girl scout cookie recipe. You hear that little girls trolling for cash? I can do it too! And in my kitchen!
Here's a super sweet recipe I found for what I think is the best kind of girl scout cookie - Caramel De-Lites. Or as some wrong people like to refer to them, Samoas.
I haven't made them yet, but I will be in the future. These cookies used to be my favorites, just edging out peanut butter patties, and although they've been renamed and rebranded, they'll always be de-lites in my book.
I would highly suggest you try this recipe, and I'm sure I will be sharing my own results either here or on Facebook. In the meantime, be careful around those roaming scouts. Remember, you don't have to give them any money if you don't want to.
But if you believe in a child's potential and future success it's highly advised.
Source: Once Upon a Plate
2 comments:
Me and my mom just spent 3 hours making them and they're not done yet... next time, we'll be happy to pay 4 dollars for a box.
it's not about ease john, it's about revenge!
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